For My Highest Good

How I am Making Sense of Domestic Abuse Today, as I went on my third walk of the day. I heard the my friend’s voice “For Your Highest Good.” The words I always spoke and now she was repeating them back to me. If I have manifested domestic abuse and the long tail experience, then…

Burn Out

I speak to my domestic violence therapist once a month. These conversations are intense and often uncover, validate, leave me with steps to take. This last session left me unsettled. During out conversation my therapist identified my feeling as burnout. After more than six years in an abusive relationship I’m burned out. She used the…

Unity – Sacred Earth Oracle Card

Earthly Meaning See your worth and the value of others. A refusal to accept less than equal footing in a partnership. An assumption, bias or other barrier could hinder a fair outcome. Strive for reciprocity there is a solution that benefits all parties. Connecting through differences. empowerment is a better strategy than seeking power. Act…

Facebook, Always a Reminder of My Secret

Over 3 years, I can remember my friend’s husband tell me he thought I was being abused. As I processed the information, I wondered what it meant. What it really meant for my future. I wondered if  if I would ever feel safe again. If I would be able to support myself financially again. If…

Six Questions About Domestic Abuse

These questions were given to me in my last session with my therapist. 1. What is your perception of Why you were abused? Put another way, what might have you believed, minimized, dismissed, ignored or hoped would have changed or improved? Why not me? One in three women experiences domestic abuse in their lifetime. I…

I’m Writing A New Story

Yesterday I received a call from a therapist from a non-profit that offers services to domestic abuse victims. I’ve been on the waiting list for about eight months. She had an available session today so I went. In the session, she asked me to write a new story for this next part of my life.…

A Replay of Past Conversations

Things Don’t Change This afternoon my husband visited his son. He came back with the great news his grandson and new wife have purchased a home.  They married this past October and are now moving into their first home together. In the very expensive housing market, this is a miracle for couples young and old.…

March 2nd | My Sanctuary, My Dressing Room

Note: This is note my dressing room. Definitely aspirational but you get the idea? Today When I moved into my husbands home I rented my house. Since it’s a two bedroom and there are just the two of us I turned the second room into my dressing room. I had a similar arrangement in my…

March 1st I’m writing again

I just read the last entry. I’m grateful to say I vaguely remember the event. The mind has a way of protecting itself. I’m glad I wrote about it otherwise similar to other abuse it becomes invisible. My goal was just to write. Briefly, I have made changes that have helped me. I’m on 200mgs…

He Laughed At Me

A Trip to The Financial Planner Yesterday, I faced my fear and visited with a financial planner. Since learning of the financial abuse and all its forms I have accepted my financially fragile status. Yesterday, I met a certified financial planner for their professional advice. It is as bad as I thought. Without income producing…