On The Edge
I wanted to strangle the cat. My abuser’s cat loves to shred my Ethan Allen chair I so lovingly chose and worked so hard to buy. The chair similar to my emotional, psychological, and financial life is now in shreds. The rage I keep bottled is just a hair trigger away. With the news of each suicide, I think why not me? Fear. It’s what keeps me from leaving my abuser. It’s my fear after 10 years of unemployment and job search I won’t find a job. It’s my fear my suicide attempt will be unsuccessful.
Resources For Suicide
I wasted my hard earned money on Final Exit and How to Make Your Own Inert Gas Hood Kit. The equipment needed for the suicide methods they suggest have now been pulled off the market. A waste of money and one that left me feeling dispirited.
About Me
My name is withheld. I am a woman who began experiencing abuse for the first time at age 57. Now, at age 60 I am rebuilding my life while living with my 72-year-old abuser. In the past three years, this sociopathic narcissist’s need to possess me led to financial abuse. First encouraging me to quit my job and launch a non-profit. Second, to sell my home and use the funds to build a business. All the while telling me his home was now my home. Why did I need two homes? What he kept secret? A reverse mortgage on his home, monthly advances on the equity in his home, and mounting credit card debt. He destroyed my financial future to satisfy his need to exercise power over me. Prior to my abuser showing his true self, I counted myself blessed to find a partner to share this last part of my life with. We spent time with my friends, his family, and met with my therapist because I wanted to make to make sure I did everything right. In the end, he lied to everyone.
For My Highest Good 